Q: How did you end up here?
A: I chose to come.
Q: How did you decide?
A: It made the most sense to me at the time. It appealed to my values and my strengths. It held the possibility of both creative and financial reward.
Q: Did you have any doubts?
A: Of course. Certainty is overrated. It’s an immature reaction to the fear of the unknown.
Q: What would you tell someone in a similar position?
A: To get clear on who they are before getting clear on what they want. And to trust themselves, above all.
Q: Do you have any regrets?
A: Yes. I regret that I didn’t act sooner. I regret that I avoided my heart’s desire out of fear of failure, perfectionism, feeling out of control. And, I am here now.
Q: How did you overcome those things?
A: I didn’t. I minimized them so they don’t take up as much space. They will always be there.
Q: What frightens you?
A: My narcissism. It seduces me into thinking that I deserve things that actually require hard work.
Q: What do you pine for?
A: First, to feel profound satisfaction for all that I have. Second, for the heartfulness to keep moving towards an even greater contribution.
Q: How do you know you’re on the right path?
A: It’s the hard one.
Q: That doesn’t sound very fun.
A: I know. And there’s not a day on the right path that isn’t full of joyful possibility. It’s an extraordinary paradox.
Q: I get a feeling of isolation or deep independence in talking with you?
A: You feel that accurately. I have always struggled to “use” others well. It comes from a feeling of having something to prove, I think. Rationally, I understand the power and importance of relationship but emotionally I allow myself to separate thinking I’ve got to go it alone. It’s a sharp edge for me.
Q: How are you working on it, if you don’t mind my asking?
A: I don’t mind. I remind myself to be focused and present with the person in front of me right now and to trust the reciprocal nature of relationship. That means starting close in, right at home, with my wife and my children.
Q: What’s next for you?
A: To keep moving forward. Everything is a choice. I will keep making the best ones I can.
