Taking Responsibility

“We can’t trust ourselves to be perfect; we can’t trust ourselves to be the best at anything; we can’t trust ourselves to succeed; we can’t trust ourselves to never cause harm or hurt. What we can trust is our disciplined effort to get to know ourselves. We can learn to know our triggers, our habitual reactions, our strengths and weaknesses. All of this is possible – and essential – if we are to lead sanely in the midst of the falling-apart craziness.”

– Margaret Wheatley, “Who Do We Choose to Be

From my lower self I ask: What’s wrong with them? When are they going to figure it out? When are they finally going to change?

From my higher self I ask: What’s going on with me? What is it about me that is leading me to respond this way? What shift can I make within to see, understand, comprehend, react to or confront this situation more effectively?

I commit to giving grace and forgiveness to the inevitability of my lower self.

I commit to giving fuel, encouragement and disciplined effort to sustain my higher self.

Always aim higher.


DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world.

 

 

Leadership and Fatherhood

Leadership and fatherhood: taking complete responsibility for teaching and supporting others to take complete responsibility; for themselves, for the welfare of others and for any cause worth fighting for.

DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world.

Change One Word

Think about your job, your commitments, your responsibilities.

Have all of that in mind? Now, say to yourself: “I have to do this.”

Ok. How does that feel?

Keep thinking about all of those things you do every day.

Let’s replace one word and try it again. Say to yourself, “I get to do this.”

What do you think? What’s the difference for you?

Please comment below and let me know.

DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world.

 

 

The Door of Integrity

“The more coherent one becomes within oneself as a creature, the more one fully enters into the communion of all creatures.” Wendell Berry

The sign above my daughter’s classroom door reads as follows:

THE DOOR OF INTEGRITY: I am responsible for everything I think, say, do and feel.

This is Viktor Frankl’s challenge to us when he writes, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

And, I would add, in our response lies our integrity, the evidence of our more or less cohesive self.

How incredible that we get to choose! That we, alone among creatures, have the opportunity to reflect on our impulses and find even more effective ways to interact with the world. Wendell Berry reminds us that this effort is never for its own sake but that the deepening of personal understanding is at once the strengthening of connection with everyone and everything around us.

Yes, we get to choose and it is even more extraordinary when we – when I – actually do.

May the happiness, the prosperity, the failure and the learning you experience in the coming year be marked by your deepest possible experience of integrity. And, however difficult it may be to swallow in the moment, may the aftertaste of personal responsibility be a savory accompaniment to the freedom you will have so rightly earned.

The best thing about the “Door of Integrity” is that we can all squeeze through.

Let’s meet on the other side.