Necessary Waiting

If you want to ice skate on a frozen pond it’s best not to attempt it after the first frost.

A reliable surface, one you can trust to sustain your weight and the carving of your skates, needs time and consistently low temperatures to get to a solid state.

The same is true for new relationships or those that are recovering from a difficult passage.

We want to believe that our initial best efforts to repair the damage will be sufficient. But it takes time and consistency for someone to believe that we are worthy of their trust, once again.

Do not ask me to skate with you on the early, brittle ice. Invite me, deep into winter, to join you on the solid ice that will hold us both.


adventure blue calm waters climb

Photo by Riccardo Bresciani on Pexels.com

Repair or Replace?

Repair when most of what’s there is working as it should.

Replace when most of what’s there is not.

It’s expensive – time and money – to get this wrong if the subject is a home repair.

It’s expensive – time, money, morale, productivity, loyalty – to get this wrong if the subject is a team member.

There’s a time to support, develop and coach. And there’s a time to move on. A leader’s value is determined by his ability to know the difference.


DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world.

Reach For The High Bar

It’s hard to hold high ideals, to put yourself on the hook for living up to something exceptional. It’s not a question of whether or not you will slip up sometimes because of course you will.

The question is how you use those moments to repair, to learn and to teach.

Against the alternative you’d take your chances with someone willing to strive for something great and mess up along the way.

Against the alternative? You’d take that in a heartbeat.


DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world.