The Best of Both

I have a client whose expectation of his team is that they will do their jobs with exceptional skill while constantly striving to be even better human beings.

There is no trade-off, no convenient acceptance of sub-par performance for a “really great guy” and no acceptance of toxic, or even stagnant behavior for someone who is “just too good at their job for us to do without.”

Learning is the driver, about the work itself and about the even greater responsibility to be a person of deep integrity and generous character.


DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world.

Poem for a Sunday Morning

TICKET

This is the ticket
I failed to spend.
It is still in my pocket
at the fair’s end.
It is not only
suffering or grief
or even boredom
of which we are
offered more than
enough.

{from Say Uncle, by Kay Ryan}


For as simple as it is, this poem packs a punch. It’s a punch thrown by my bigger self and it’s trying to wake me up.

How much time do I spend counting what is not, rather than what is? How many moments do I let slip by because I am distracted by nostalgia for those that have come and gone; by anticipation for those not yet arrived?

How to be present to the present and make the very most of it? How to remember to ride the ride, right now?

This moment, is it enough?


 

DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world.

Why is there no trash on the ground at Disneyland?

A number of years ago I participated in a customer service training at a Disneyland resort. The event included a behind the scenes tour of the facility, a chance to go where “regular” park goers don’t go and to learn a few secrets about the Magic Kingdom.

One anecdote came up in the form of a question: Why is there no trash on the ground at Disneyland?

The answer? Because there’s no trash on the ground at Disneyland, of course! The “Broken Windows” theory of community renewal applied to the theme park business.

The Disney team proudly proclaimed that they have fewer sanitation workers than other amusement parks because they have established a culture of no trash on the ground.

Sunday, at Disneyland’s California Adventure I just happened to notice a dirty napkin on the ground a few feet in front of me. My first thought, indoctrinated as I had been, was to reach down and get it but at that very moment a “cast member” was headed my way and I decided to see if he had been trained as well as I had.

He had not been, and he sailed right on by.

In that moment I remembered how hard the work of culture building is. I remembered how challenging it is to establish and maintain consistency in both mindset and behavior in a small company never mind an organization the size and scope of Disney.

It’s essential to have high aspirations and to fall short sometimes. How else do we learn?

I hope today was an anomaly for that employee and that the Disney service culture is as vigilant now as when I learned from them years ago.

Next time, I’m going to grab the napkin and give him the benefit of the doubt. Every aspirational culture deserves a little help.


DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world.

The Distance

The distance between what you want – what you clandestinely imagine in between the ritual tasks of the day – and where you are, is long.

The distance between where you are today and a first action toward what you want is embarrassingly short.

To be confused about the difference between near and far is to free your mind and bind your feet.


DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world.

I have work to do

I go down to the shore in the morning
and depending on the hour the waves
are rolling in or moving out,
and I say, oh, I am miserable,
what shall—
what should I do? And the sea says
in its lovely voice:
Excuse me, I have work to do.

 – Mary Oliver, A Thousand Mornings


I taught two classes today. The university is back in session.

I feel like a rider who’s been thrown from her horse. She’s back on now but she’s feeling it.

Just because I asked for this doesn’t mean it’s easy. The rhythm of the work comes with time.

I’m not “miserable.”

I’m also not an ocean.


DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world.

Burn the Boats!

It is said that Cortez ordered his men to burn their boats so that they had no choice but to conquer or die.

This is not true. He ordered that the ships be sunk, not burned, to prevent a second mutiny of soldiers who were still loyal to their Cuban home (and conceivably wanted to return there).

Isn’t it fascinating how a major historical event has been romanticized and mythologized to the point that to “burn the boats” represents the ultimate metaphor for negative motivation to change?

And it’s a seductive one, too. “Burn the boats!” is so much easier than providing substantive, thoughtful, clear and consistent explanations for the necessity of change.

Maybe when you’re leading the Spanish conquest of the Aztec empire, or parenting unruly children, negative reinforcement is the best way to go. Maybe.

I am comfortable asserting that professional adults who come to work each day hoping to engage their hard-won skills in support of something worthwhile deserve better than “burn the boats.”

Don’t you think?


DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world.

Small Voice / Big Voice

Small voice: There’s not enough.
Big voice: There’s plenty, and there’s more on the way.

Small voice: I’m pretty sure they owe me something.
Big voice: What can I do for them?

Small voice: I’m keeping score.
Big voice: I learn something new every time I play this game.

Small voice: I deserve better.
Big voice: I will keep working hard. The right things will come my way.

Small voice: Nobody cares.
Big voice: Somebody cares. I’m going to find them.

Small voice: I wasted my time.
Big voice: I made a choice.

Small voice: It has to be perfect.
Big voice: It has to be the very best that I can do.

Small voice: I’ll do it myself.
Big voice: Do you want to learn this?

Small voice: I’m embarrassed that I can’t do this.
Big voice: Will you please help me?


DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world. Connect with him on Twitter at @berrydavid.

No End In Sight

I have this feeling that 30 or so years from now, should I still be kicking around, I’m going to be wrestling with the same existential crisis: the joy and the dread that learning never ends.

The dread: How is that I’ve come this far and still have so far to go?

The joy: How is it that I am so lucky to have the opportunity, the invitation, the opening up, the chance to live into an even more complete understanding of my experience?

No one, not a single person, said it was going to be easy. Just that it would be possible.

And no matter how uncomfortable it is to admit it, they were right.


DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world. Connect with him on Twitter at @berrydavid.

 

 

Don’t Motivate Me, Please

People are internally motivated. The good work of leadership is to tap into that motivation and accelerate, support, deepen and encourage it. I think the biggest leadership mistake is one of getting in the way of what is already there. It is the hubris of thinking that I either have to supply motivation or that my version of it is superior to what someone brings with them. This is classically paternalistic. “That’s nice,” says the well-intentioned leader, “but here’s how it should be.”

So many employees buy into this paternalism because they love the protection it affords. They are making a painful trade-off by accepting someone else’s version of how they should feel, think and believe and only because they are separated by one rung on the pay scale. At best this substitution of perspective is an ill-fitting replacement and at worst it’s deeply corrosive. The courageous leadership move is toward a partnership that is about maximizing what the individual has to offer; what you saw in them in the first place that made you want to hire them.

Leaders control, in my opinion, because the chaos of the individual is just too overwhelming. That is to say, most leaders don’t seem to have the capacity to treat each individual employee as a naturally, uniquely motivated person and figure out how to make the most it. And that capacity doesn’t exist because the leader hasn’t looked within long enough or purposefully enough to discover their own motivation. Ultimately, they just end up repeating the pattern of their experience because they haven’t learned to value and express their personal, internal perspective. Instead, the leader lumps everyone together, expecting them to be “just like me” and thinking that somehow this is going to lead to innovation and value creation.

How can it possibly?

Start within. The courageous step is the one back to yourself.

DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world.

When Motivation Becomes Habit

“Motivation is a lot like showering. It’s useful, but it doesn’t last, so you need to repeat it often.” – Zig Ziglar

I hope their employees are in the habit or they might read this euphemistically. Scary. (Barnes&Noble bathroom)

I hope their employees are in the habit or they might read this euphemistically! (Barnes&Noble bathroom)

I made three very specific commitments for Lent this year. One month later they have all become habits. That should satisfy the “28 day” folks. It really works.

Yes, I was motivated to get started. You need motivation – a feeling that it is no longer optional to move towards your cause, purpose or goal. I was deeply motivated, as a matter of fact, both personally and professionally to break new ground on some long-held beliefs, fears and wants.

Without that energy for a new way forward I can certainly see how the gap between motivation and habit would be very hard to jump. If you don’t have a burning drive that you are ready to be honest about – for me, dependence, capacity and production – then this is not for you. If you do have that drive and you’re hanging back out of fear, it’s time to snap out of it and get moving. Really.

Lent was convenient timing. I happen to be a person of faith and I am grateful for the invitation to dedicate six weeks to renewal, reflection and re-orientation that my church provides. That, of course, is available to us any time and all the time. Lent is just a construct, like everything else we’ve invented.

What’s more accurate and more honest is that I was sick of myself. I was tired of thinking about it, wondering about it, getting frustrated about it, on and on. I was done with that phase and ready for a new one. Maybe Lent was divine intervention, the right opportunity at the right time. I won’t argue that as a very real possibility. It’s also true that, living in the first world as we do, we have choice and I made a decision to exercise mine.

It’s my turn. And it’s your turn, too.