Freedom to Choose

Freedom

– William Stafford, from The Way It Is: New and Selected Poems

I have to choose my freedom. It is not given to me by role or position. It is not taken from me by oppression or circumstance. My freedom is exercised in the present moment when I choose how to respond to what’s happening rather than to let’s what’s happening make the choice for me.

I am reminded of a quote of unknown origin: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

I imagine what would be different if I learned to take the pause in that space…to consider the options before me and to then make the most positive, constructive choice possible. I imagine that because so many days…so many times per day…I cannot see the space and so I cannot make the choice. I just react.

I am called – as all leaders, all parents, all spouses, all colleagues – are called, to dedicate and rededicate myself to personal responsibility; the responsibility to remember that my freedom is a choice.


DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world. Connect with him on Twitter at @berrydavid.

 

 

Freedom from Fear

If not now, when?

To speak up? To stand up? To take a chance? To risk? To love? To discover? To explore? To learn? To lead? To follow? To be known? To know others? To investigate? To stretch? To get dirty, messy, uncomfortable? To live with hopeful realism?

We are living in an age of relentless trauma. I’m not saying that hope is lost, that good won’t win over evil or that the sky is falling. I don’t know. None of us know. And I am not an alarmist. I am paying attention. The trauma is real. And if you have the freedom to act there is no better time than now.

The arc of my personal development has long bent toward learning how to freely express my feelings. I adapted to my own set of childhood experiences by learning not to risk abandonment or loss. A good way to do that is to not say things that might upset people.

The learning has been steep and treacherous but I have found that good people, thoughtful people…close friends in particular, many of my clients, my girlfriend/fiancée/wife of 28 years, my children…appreciate my kind and thoughtful candor. There was a time that seemed impossible. And that has happened as I have learned to receive their kind and thoughtful candor in return.

As far as I’ve come, I have to do better. The moment demands it and I choose to meet the moment. There will never be a more important time in my lifetime to practice being better at what I find is the hardest thing to do: to live into a more authentic version of the freedom I so cherish; the freedom to speak up, to speak with integrity, to speak with love. The freedom to both express and receive the painful, unpleasant and hard to acknowledge real stuff of this time and place.


DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world.

 

Independence Day

What it takes to form a nation:

Dedication to higher principles.
Clarification of identity.
Exploration of the unknown.
Devotion to a cause.
Consecration to learning.
Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice.

And, what’s at stake:

Freedom from tyranny.
Independence of purpose, thought and action.
Discovery of new frontiers.
Becoming your own authority.

What it takes to develop the self:

Dedication to higher principles.
Clarification of identity.
Exploration of the unknown.
Devotion to a cause.
Consecration to learning.
Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice.

And, what’s at stake:

Freedom from tyranny.
Independence of purpose, thought and action.
Discovery of new frontiers.
Becoming your own authority.


DAVID BERRY is the author of “A More Daring Life: Finding Voice at the Crossroads of Change” and the founder of RULE13 Learning. He speaks and writes about the complexity of leading in a changing world.

Room to Run

Rita at Dog Beach/Del Mar - March 7, 2015

Rita at Dog Beach/Del Mar – March 7, 2015

“Always this energy smolders inside, when it remains unlit the body fills with dense smoke.” – from “Out On the Ocean” by David Whyte

You have more freedom than you think you do. This is the strange dilemma we face in a society of wide-open access to information, of infinite do-it-yourself possibilities. We have all the freedom we need except for where we need it most: behind our eyes and between our ears.

I heard a piece on the radio yesterday about the power of exposure as a way to open up the imagination to what is possible. If I see bigger I might live bigger. If I see freedom I might pursue freedom. If I see wealth, opportunity, advancement – a concrete example of another way forward – I might reason that it can exist for me also and then take action to achieve it.

Any opening to another way, however slender it might be, is enough to get some people to leap. Others, not so much. Most of us remain bound by our perceptions, locked in a mindset that makes sense to us, well-shaped by years of effort. This is what I know so this is what I am. All the while, smoldering inside is a tiny fire of possibility that is screaming for oxygen. Remaining unlit it streams toxic smoke into our bodies, directly to our hearts.

It may be that you don’t think you’re worthy of your freedom.

You may believe that how you use your freedom won’t pass the test of others’ care and concern.

Or, very likely, the room you want – the freedom you crave – belongs to a group of “insiders,” smart and special people who have what it takes and “earned” their keys to a door you’re still fumbling to find.

There’s never been a time like this. What are you going to do about that?

Rita doesn’t get off the leash too often. When she does, she makes the most of it.

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