Though we’ve got still three more months to enjoy 2011, my personal theme and takeaway from this year has already become clear to me. Namely, that deficit spending doesn’t work for me. I am not speaking of financial mismanagement, debt ceilings or monetary policy of any kind. I am speaking of my attempts over the last 9 months to activate and extend my creative self at times when I did not possess the resources to do so.
What I have learned this year is that there is a line dividing my higher, creative self and my lower, surviving self. When I am operating below the line, it because I am I am in need of renewal, refreshment, restoration. When I am operating above the line I am capable of creativity, energy, extension.
The awareness I have gained is that I am not very gracious to myself when I am below the line and expect that I should be above it. Put another way, when I need to focus on renewal I need to focus on renewal; to focus on getting back to the line before I can again cross over it and above it.